April Fool
by Platinum Express
Summary: Hermione, Fred and George indulge in a little April tomfoolery. A mysterious phone-call from Hermione swings the whole issue into action. One-Shot, Little Bit Of Fun.


'Hello, Molly!' Hermione said, brightly, into the telephone receiver.

'Oh, Hermione dear- it's you. I thought it might be Arthur. He's so fond of tinkering with this fellytone.'

'He doesn't shout into it anymore, does he?' asked Hermione, anxiously.

'Well-' Molly hesitated. 'He has his moments.'

Hermione laughed. 'I'll come down and coach him one of these days,' she promised. 'When work lets up.'

'You do that,' said Molly, fondly. 'I assume you're calling to talk to Ron?'

Hermione paused.

'I- er- actually wanted to talk to Fred,' she admitted.

There was a brief silence on the line.

'Fred?' said Mrs. Weasley, doubtfully. 'You mean- Frederick?'

'Mm-hm,' said Hermione, 'I actually came up with some new business strategies for the store, and thought he'd like to go over them.'

'Oh,' said Mrs. Weasley, sounding relieved. 'Of course- I'll just put him on.'

Hermione heard her placing the receiver on the kitchen table, and then heard her calling faintly in the distance.

'Fred- Fred! Where are you? There's a call for you!'

'Coming!' he shouted back. Hermione heard thudding footsteps, and then someone picked up the receiver.

'Fred?' she asked.

'HELLO?' said Fred. 'HELLO? IS THAT YOU, HERMIONE?'

'Yes, it is, and I think you know how I feel about your childish need to scream holy murder down the telephone line,' Hermione said, tartly. 'The joke's getting old, Fred. I've showed you so many times how to use it.'

There was a pause, as though he was a little surprised. When he spoke again, Hermione sensed a tingle of mischief in his voice.

'Oh, yes,' he said, through a smile. 'So you have. How foolish of me- I keep making that mistake, don't I, Herms?'

'Unfortunately, yes,' she clicked her nails rapidly against her kitchen table. 'I need to meet you. Now.'

He sounded surprised. 'You- er- do? And why is that?'

She rolled her eyes. 'Fred- please stop acting so immature! You know why- we have to discuss- well, _that_.' she finished.

He paused, and she almost heard the wheels of his brain turning round and round.

'Okay,' he said, finally. 'I'll meet you at the Leaky Cauldron, in- say- five minutes?'

'Thanks,' Hermione said, gratefully. 'I'll bring it with me.'

'Um- you do that.' said Fred, and cut the line.

Hermione sighed and replaced the receiver. She had forgotten how irritating Fred used to be on the telephone. When they had been going out, she had carefully schooled him, but it seemed he had forgotten about it. And now-

But she forced herself not to think about. In truth, it surprised her that Fred had seemed to blank. After all, she had spoken to him about it just yesterday.

'_Did you get it?' his voice was urgent, anxious._

'_Yes,' she whispered. 'I'm trying it tonight.'_

'_You let me know how it went.'_

'_Of course, I will.'_

'_Hermione-' _

_He stopped, abruptly._

'_What's the matter?' she asked, puzzled._

_He bit his lip. 'Mum and the others still don't know that we were going out. I mean- the whole thing was so secret. And now that it's all over, I think it's best it stays that way, don't you?'_

_Hermione bit her lip. Secretly, she agreed with him. She didn't want anybody finding out about her ex-relationship with Fred. But at the same time-_

'_What if it-?' she began._

_He cut her off._

'_Pray that it doesn't,' he said, and cut the line._

He had a thing for cutting lines abruptly.

She dressed absently that afternoon, pulling on a light sweater and black trousers. She found her handbag under a large heap of clothes on her bed, and a black leather blazer in her closet. As she pulled them both on, she unclasped her handbag and checked that she had put _it_ inside.

It was there, nestled in a small plastic box.

Gritting herself, she apparated to the Leaky Cauldron. She was about five minutes early. Flipping her unstyled hair over one shoulder, she pushed open the door and stepped in. As usual, the little pub was filled to the brim with people, smoke, alcohol and loud noise.

Tom caught sight of her as she sidled in, and flashed her a wide, toothy grin.

'Ms. Granger,' he said, affably. 'Haven't seen you in a while.'

'You too, Tom. I thought I'd stop by for a drink- er- lunch- but it seems you're full up.'

'There's always a table for you,' Tom promised, and sure enough, he steered her to a small table situated in a little alcove, hidden from the rest of the pub. Hermione surveyed it approvingly. Hardly anyone would see them or hear them here.

'Meeting anyone?' asked Tom, as he pulled out a chair for her. Hermione sat down and put her bag on the table.

'Fred Weasley,' she replied, 'We're discussing business strategies. Could you get me a pot of tea, Tom? And a doughnut.'

'Surely you'd want something stronger,' Tom suggested. 'We have a new- very expensive- brand of black tea liquor from China. You might want to try it.'

'The unfermented kind is good enough for me,' Hermione said, firmly. 'But thanks anyway, Tom.'

He nodded to her and bustled off. Hermione placed a hand protectively to her handbag, and then glanced at her small, jeweled watch.

'I'm exactly on time as you can see,' said a deep voice, above her. 'Have you ordered?'

She looked up, and Fred smiled easily down at her. He was dressed in jeans and a white shirt, with a cut-sleeve black blazer over it. He sat down beside her and held out his hand.

Hermione did not offer hers, and he slid it back into his pocket.

'I ordered tea,' she informed him.

He raised an eyebrow. 'No Firewhisky?'

She bit her lip. 'It was positive,' she said, in a soft voice.

Fred simply stared at her.

'What?' he said.

She stifled a sigh of frustration.

'The test, Fred! It was positive! Don't you understand-? Here-'

She rummaged in her handbag, and pulled out the small plastic box, which she slid across the table to him.

Looking curious, Fred picked it up and took out the small white strip inside.

'What's this?' he asked.

Hermione stared at him.

'Fred- it's the pregnancy test! I told you I was buying one yesterday!'

He stared up at her, and she could see the shock in his eyes.

'P-pregnancy test,' he stuttered. 'It- it came out positive.'

She leaned over the table and touched his hand. 'I'm pregnant,' she said, quietly. 'We're pregnant.'

'What!'

Fred was staring at her now, a look of complete and utter shock on his face.

'H-Hermione,' he began. 'I never- I never realized that-'

But she cut him off.

'I know you said you wanted to keep it a secret like it always was,' she began. 'But I don't see how we can do that now. Everyone's bound to find out when I start swelling. And I'll have to tell them that you're the father!'

Fred swallowed twice. 'I see,' he said. 'I see-'

'So what I was thinking was-'

Hermione broke off and stared behind him, her eyes slightly widened. There stood another Weasley twin. He was staring at her with a look of shock on his face.

'Hermione?' he said, quietly.

She instantly paled, and then hoisted an unconvincing smile onto her face.

'George!' she said, brightly. 'How nice to see you here! Fred and I were just- er- just discussing some business plans.'

'Hermione-' he began. She stared at him. 'Hermione- I'm Fred!'

Hermione swallowed twice, and then turned around, to where the person she had initially assumed was Fred was sitting. He still had a slightly shocked look on his face, but a slow grin was beginning to form.

'Hey Fred,' he said, waving cheerily up at his brother.

Hermione stared at him. 'G-George?' she stammered.

He looked sheepish.

'I guess I should have told you earlier,' he began, 'But when you called, Mum put me on the phone- when I realized it was important, it was too late to warn you. Besides, I was really curious to find out what this big secret was.'

Both Fred and Hermione blinked at him.

'Sorry, guys,' he said, 'I guess I know all about it now. But why don't you tell me- how long was this secret relationship really going on for?'

Fred glanced at Hermione, and then put a hand on his brother's shoulder. 'Why don't we go back home and talk about it?' he said, quietly. George nodded, and threw some sickles down on the table, to pay for Hermione's tea. The three of them apparated to the front gate of the Burrow, where Mrs. Weasley was throwing grain for the chickens. She looked up and smiled at them.

'Hello, Hermione,' she said, cheerily. 'How nice of you to drop in. Visiting the twins?'

'Business plans,' Hermione said, weakly.

'Well, I hope you discussed enough with George this morning,' said Mrs. Weasley, 'I couldn't find Fred, so I thought George would do, seeing as how it concerned the store.'

Hermione managed a smile. 'Of course!' she said, 'It was just- um-perfect!'

Fred gently took her arm, and led her into the parlor and up the stairs. When they reached the twins bedroom, he pushed her and George in, and then shut the door behind them.

George locked it with his wand.

'Well,' he said, grimly, 'I suppose you have a lot of explaining to do.

'I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Forge,' Fred said, regretfully. 'It was like- top secret.'

'No worried, Gred,' George returned with a grin. 'But fill me up now. When did it begin?'

'Summer after seventh year,' said Fred, immediately.

'When I spent time at the Burrow,' Hermione supplied.

'Sparks just flew-' Fred informed him.

'And here we are!' Hermione spread out her arms, and smiled invitingly. 'We dated for three years, but broke up six months back. We met only once after that- on Valentines day- and- well- things got a little- you know...' she flushed.

Fred winked. 'Of course he does,' he said affably. 'Well, it was good at the time. But a week back, Hermione thought she might be pregnant.'

'Fred and I talked about it yesterday,' said Hermione. 'And I called today to tell him that- well- that the pregnancy test had come back positive.'

Fred turned away from his brother, and took two steps forward. He seized Hermione's hands in his.

'Is that for true?' he demanded. 'You're really pregnant?'

Hermione smiled shyly and nodded. 'I am, Fred,' she admitted. 'We're going to have a baby!'

Fred stared at her for a moment, and then ducked in and kissed her hard on the mouth.

'My angel,' he said, affectionately, drawing back. 'You're having a little Weasley baby.'

'Lots of red hair,' said Hermione, with a smile.

'Can I confess I'm feeling a little faint?' said George, plaintively.

Fred turned to him.

'Sorry, brother,' he said, apologetically. 'It's just that this is a biggish thing for us, you know.'

'Oh, don't I?' said George, feelingly. 'You got the bookworm pregnant, Fred. How do you think Mum's going to react to that?'

Fred shrugged. 'I'll figure out something.' He turned to Hermione. 'How many months along?'

George rolled his eyes. 'Fred- don't be an idiot. You got her pregnant on Valentines. That means she's six weeks along right now.'

Fred's eyes widened. 'You're right!' he exclaimed. 'Today's April the first!'

He turned to Hermione. 'Should we tell him?'

'Tell me what?' George demanded.

Fred and Hermione smiled sweetly at him.

'April's Fool!'

'So, you're telling me,' George said, bitterly, 'That this entire thing was a set-up!'

'Pretty much,' Hermione agreed, biting the tip of her nail. 'It was simple, really. Fred and I decided we wanted to shock you a bit after you told me I was a boring bookworm.'

'And you told me I was losing my touch,' Fred put in, completely forgetting that he had said the same thing to George just a few days back.

'Well, you've certainly regained it,' George grumbled. 'How did you get Mum to put me on the phone?'

Fred shrugged. 'I just made sure I wasn't there. And since Hermione said it was business-'

'Simple, really,' put in Hermione. 'And after I spoke to you, I owled Fred and told him where to be. It was all too easy.'

'Oh, so you've had you're cute little joke,' George said, snappishly. 'I can't breathe for laughing.'

Fred chuckled and got up, slapping his twin on the back. 'Give me five minutes, brother,' he said, 'I'll go chuck the fake pregnancy test and come back.' Hermione handed it to him. 'Thank god you didn't know how read it.'

Hermione waited till Fred had left the room and turned to George.

'He fell for it!' she crowed.

'He sure did!' George said, smiling. He bent down and kissed her jaw. 'My twin brother now believes he had me tricked good and proper. You really are a most efficient prankstress,' he said, affectionately.

Hermione leaned up. 'How long did he say he was gone?' she asked.

'Five minutes,' George replied, tracing her lips with her index finger. 'I think we can get a lot done in that much time, don't you?'

Mrs. Weasley cleared away the table and began to set the plates. She was mentally going over the dinner she had prepared for that night. Roast chicken- corn on the cob- a Caesar salad- the kids should be happy. She wondered if maybe she had cooked the chicken longer than it should have been. Certainly, the skin was dark in places and unusually crispy. But she didn't think anybody would mind. Besides, Arthur loved overdone meat.

She would cut some fruit, she decided, and serve it with fresh cream from her fridge. She had gathered some just this-

'WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING HERE?'

She jumped. It had been Fred's voice. She paused, and listened, wondering whether he was in the bedroom he shared with George.

And then, she heard Hermione and George say:

'APRIL'S FOOL!'

**AN- Okay, I'm almost apologetic about this. I basically made it up as I was going along, but I had loads of fun writing it, and I hope you guys like it! I honestly think HermioneXTwins is so cute!**


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